Crucial Conversations

For those of you who have read or listened to my book BELIEVE, you will know the story about Doug who had been struggling with the same team member for months. Joe made constant mistakes, misunderstood instruction and didn’t appear to know what the word deadline meant.

I hear similar stories constantly in my leadership coaching work and anyone who has ever worked with me will know that alongside suggesting regular catch ups and purposeful coaching, I take you straight to the mirror to see what is happening inside of you.

Why, because often, the same leaders who are having issues are shying away from delivering constructive feedback or dealing with performance issues. Not always, but often. It is a common tendency to avoid crucial conversations but the negative impact on team dynamics and productivity is significant.

Introducing framing

While you work on developing your own self-awareness and emotional intelligence, you can also use the technique referred to as framing. This can help you move from seeing feedback as micromanaging, to seeing it as a useful tool to help your team member with their career development. This type of framing will support you to embrace regular feedback sessions rather than avoid what you previous viewed as uncomfortable conversations.

How you frame your feedback can make a massive difference to how the message is received. What I mean by framing is that you deliberately flavour your message in a way that influences how your team member will perceive and understand it.

Types of Framing

There are several types of framing from positive framing where you emphasise the benefits, advantages, or positive outcomes associated with a particular situation or negative framing where you focus on the potential risks, drawbacks, or consequences of a particular course of action. This technique can be used to instil caution, or a sense of urgency. What I turn to most is moral framing. This type of framing appeals to people's moral values and ethics. It emphasises the rightness or wrongness of an issue and can create a sense of moral obligation or responsibility.

The Impact of Framing

Here are some keyways in which framing impacts communication:

Perception: By presenting information from a specific angle, communicators can influence whether we see it as a problem or an opportunity.

Bias and Persuasion: Framing can introduce biases by selectively presenting information that supports a particular perspective. This can sway opinions and make it challenging to consider alternative viewpoints objectively.

Decision Making: People are more likely to choose an option that is positively framed, even if the alternatives may be equally valid.

Emotional Response: Framing can evoke specific emotions by highlighting certain aspects of a message. Positive framing may evoke feelings of happiness, hope, or excitement, while negative framing can trigger fear, anger, or anxiety.

Real life examples of framing

Here is a very brief list of examples that show framing in action. What was said What it could be replaced with -

You are missing deadlines, and it is impacting the rest of the team and the project: I’ve noticed you are finding time-management a challenge. Is there anything I can do to help?

You haven’t met your targets. I’m concerned it is going to drag down the team’s performance: You haven’t met your targets, but I know how hard you have been working. Are there any obstacles in your way that I can help with?

I’ve seen your late-night emails to the team; I’m concerned you are not in control of your work: I’ve seen your late-night emails to the team; I’m worried about your work–life balance. Can we dig in a little deeper to understand your workload?

You’ve stepped into the new role and don’t seem to be handling things well: Well done on the new role. I am sure there are challenges. Can we discuss any support and training that may be helpful?

You seemed annoyed in the meeting yesterday; it made reaching a decision very difficult: I noticed you appeared upset yesterday at the meeting. Can we discuss how things are going?

Final word

Whether you are a seasoned leader or brand new, framing is a style that can help you communicate a message for optimum impact. When you skilfully select and present a message, you can shape perceptions, influence attitudes, and guide positive and effective decision-making processes.

There is no longer any need to avoid the need to give feedback. Have fun with this. It works!

Brenda